All it took was the pretty brutally honest resignation that this is my life, this is my one chance, and the quality of it is up to me. No one else to blame, spit at, or get angry at. No, I’m not responsible for everything that happens and will happen to me, but I am responsible for how I respond to it and how I let it effect me. I just made the choice to look at everything with light.
I take what frustrates or saddens me (working at a job that’s uninspiring, being far away from the ones I love, numbly following traditional education) and I use that as fuel to make change. I can make plenty of excuses to not pursue the life I want, and I can make things a lot more conventional by following the expected norm, but that means drifting far from the life I’ve lived so far and one I hope to never stray from. A life that’s explosive, sensational, challenging, wising, and flooded with light. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to settle for anything less than extraordinary with my one time to be on this planet.
And in the meantime, when I am at the job that’s uninspiring or am away from ones I love or am going about the mindless motions, I let myself fall in love with the fact that I’m simply existing. What the fuck, right?! We are breathing! There are SUNSETS! FLOWERS THAT BLOSSOM! GLACIERS! POETRY AND MUSIC! PUPPIES BEING ADOPTED! PEANUT BUTTER AND CHOCOLATE! There is so much good, there is so much that is really a miracle to exist at all (fruit growing on trees, for example — don’t even get me started on oranges, they’re pre-sliced by nature!), and this: there is only up. I think of all the people I’m going to meet, all the places I’m going to go, and how goddamn thankful I am to have done all that I’ve done so far. Every day is another step toward living a life I’m in love with; even the sadness, pain, and anger that inevitably comes. Everything comes with a lesson if you let it, and is just another chapter in your book. Just be patient, be kind, and mostly, remember that there are no right or wrong choices — there is only choice. But mostly, I trust that all is unfolding exactly as it should. Doors open when you’re ready, people come into your life when you’re ready, and stories happen to you when you’re ready. And through it all, through everything, never stop reminding yourself to pause and take a look around you.
I’m here. You’re here. I’m glad we exist.
